Perverted Narcism - Everything bad that happens is because I somehow caused it

June 17, 2009

Many of us feel it is necessary to take responsibility for things we do that are hurtful, irresponsible and damaging. This is what some call our 'humanity' and allows us to demonstrate that we care, have a conscience and thus are not sociopaths.

Online Therapy and Phone Therapy: Picture of Tree

Yet, there are some people that feel overwhelmed with guilt and feel responsible even when they have done nothing wrong... read more

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Enough with thinking you're not enough!

May 11, 2009

A common belief expressed in therapy sessions with clients, with friends over cups of coffees, and at family gatherings is that somehow one is not 'enough'. Through anguished voices I've heard so many talented, beautiful, amazing people mutter "I'm not good enough, smart enough,thin enough, wealthy enough, tough enough, important enough, generous enough, engaging enough, attractive enough..."

The list of 'not enough's' is unfortunately endless. And while it seems absurd that, for example, a gorgeous woman might express that she thinks she is 'not pretty enough', it is also understandable that she feels this way... read more

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Many loves, many losses-when relationships seem to never work out

April 21, 2009

Dear Cynthia,
I am stuck in a seemingly never-ending whirl of unsuccessful relationships with men. None of my relationships last more than 4 years. Last June, I broke off a relationship with a man. I've been in a "friends with benefits" relationship with another man off and on for about seven years and I'm trying to meet other men whom I might have a more successful relationship with, as well. To complicate matters, I often suffer from depression, sometimes severe, although that's been held in check lately. I'm going to be 53 in May and have in the last couple of years, had trouble sexually. Recently I met a very interesting man, who I believe may have lost interest due to my sexual problems. This hurt my feelings deeply. So this is a few of the things that are going on. Thanks for your help... read more

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Are you stuck in a state of perpetual adolescence around your family?

April 15, 2009

It is perhaps not surprising that the topic of 'the family' comes up after a long holiday weekend. Funnily, it is also not surprising that many people revert into a childlike state when engaging with their parents or other family members. I remember all to well the family gatherings in which my older sister and I fought like little brats, once over the last piece of turkey breast. I also remember that same year her sabotaging my root beer float with brown gravy-very mature behaviour for an adult woman... read more

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Do you look people in their eyes?

April 7, 2009

The other day I was walking down the sidewalk and passed a man carrying a bucket with a few tools sticking out the top. As we approached each other, I smiled at him and nodded hello. He quickly looked at the wall to his left, as if the gray, smooth concrete had captured his attention and quickly passed by me. Soon after, a woman came toward me down the same path. Again, I smiled and as I was getting ready to give my nod of the head 'hello', she became occupied with something inside of her handbag. Her eyes diverted into the contents of the bag and thus, she was unable to see my friendly greeting... read more

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Grappling with emotional upheaval

March 30th, 2009

I've lived in a number of countries over the years and while I have enjoyed each experience immensely, I struggled emotionally. There are the obvious reasons--feelings of homesickness, lack of connectivity, feelings of insecurity, confusion and frustration in learning a new culture/language. But there were other things that I just could not put my finger on; things that made me cry at night that I did not want to tell anyone else about... read more

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Why do we procrastinate the things we really need to do now?

March 26th, 2009

The vast majority of us procrastinate doing things. From cleaning the dishes at home to writing reports at work/school, we put them off until the very last minute often secretly hoping me might never have to do them after all. We might organise our desk, get a cup of coffee, write that email, make a few phone calls, sharpen every pencil, clean the cat box and water the plants before we will actually sit down to do the task that needs to be done. Why is it that starting the project seems so daunting and what is it that makes us stop ourselves from getting started? read more

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New Blog Page at PsyShrink

March 14th, 2009

Hello and welcome to the Blog page at PsyShrink. Here you will find topics and discussions about the latest psychological research. Another focus will also be on problems and concerns regarding personal relationships, psychological problems and how they might be resolved. More generally, observations and critiques about popular culture and current events will be observed... read more

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Cynthia Kunze
Registered Psychologist
www.PsyShrink.com